This morning, after he discovered me kneeling in the closet crying into the laundry basket about how tired I am of being pregnant, Abe offered to give me a blessing. In our church, a blessing is when someone who hold the priesthood acts like a mouthpiece for God and speaks words of comfort or guidance to the person in need of a blessing. I am so grateful to be married to someone who can do this.
My most favorite part of the blessing said that God had picked Lydia's birthday long before she was even conceived. That was good to hear--especially since I spent the morning researching the pros and cons of induction. I keep getting stressed out because not only am I tired of being pregnant, but I feel bad that people are traveling all the way out here to help us with the baby--and we have no baby yet!!! My brother has been here for weeks and has to leave for Mali the day after my due date. I was hoping he'd get to meet his niece before he leaves, but every day that passes with no Lydia stresses me out a little bit more. And Abe's dad and stepmom are coming in tomorrow or Sunday and will be here a week. I will feel TERRIBLE if they have taken off all this time out of their busy schedules--and then don't even get to meet their granddaughter.
But I am turning the matter over to God. He has a plan for Lydia, and I am trusting she'll be born at the exact right second, just like the blessing said. In the meantime, I'm kind of giving up on trying to keep everything perfect in the house. I can see a film of dust on the coffee table in front of me, and I think I shall simply pretend it's not there and go take a nap.
Maybe I'll wake up on Lydia's birthday!
Lily, I know how hard this time is, but I'm glad I'm not the only one that goes crazy trying to come up with any and every idea I can to get the baby out. (I've tried some crazy things.) For me, it starts three weeks before the due date. It's the only thing I can think about. I get myself so worked up that I'm already discouraged when there's still a week before the due date. Thankfully, both Cali and Tacy were born at great times (a few days before due dates.) With Cali, some of my health insurance coverage was going to end on July 1st, also her due date. It meant the difference of thousands of dollars for her to come before then. But I was so afraid of a Cesarean that I was not going to be induced. She came June 29th. Tacy came only hours after Mark turned in his gigantic second year paper. I would say something like, "Hang in there", but that's the last thing you want to be told when you want that baby out. So I'll say, Best wishes for your delivery tomorrow (fingers crossed in hope for you!!!)
ReplyDeleteNatalie, it is SO reassuring to know you went through the same thing!! And that it ended so well both times. Thanks so much for the good wishes!
ReplyDeleteOh, HONEY...
ReplyDeleteWell, while this is a very sweet and inspiring story bearing testimony of the power of the priesthood, I'm so sorry to hear you're so miserable!!
I'm thinking very effacing and dilating thoughts for you!
Thanks, Ashley! I will more than gladly take all of your effacing and dilating thoughts. =)
ReplyDeleteOh goodness, this brings back memories! Hopefully sharing this will not be discouraging... but uh, be empathetic (which is the point). Two weeks before Daniel was born, the dr. said it would be any day. I was dialated to a 3, 80% effaced, and with him being my second, things could go quickly. So my sweet mother came out. 3 weeks later, he appeared. It was the hardest wait of my life. And the whole time I felt horrible for making my mom take a MONTH out of her life to be her- and over half of that time was just waiting. I considered being induced, but it just didn't feel right. Looking back, though, those were the most precious weeks I had ever spent with our daughter. Same thing with our first pregnancy- when I finally let go, and just let things happen (not worry about others, or even what I wanted, but what the Lord wanted and what was best for my little family), I was able to cherish some very special time before our lives changed forever (and before I turned into a zombie for a little while).
ReplyDeleteThat is so good to hear! I will start to examine this time and try to figure out what makes it precious and special. I'm sure there's something wonderful happening that I can identify once my attitude changes! =)
ReplyDeleteLily, the end of pregnancy is SO HARD!!! It's so uncomfortable and the waiting for me was always full of some anxiety because labor is so unpredictable. Not to mention the hormones and everything else (which get worse right after you have a baby... I tend to cry a lot in those first two weeks and it's okay!! Crying is therapeutic :) Hang in there and I can't wait to hear the news that your darling Lydia is here!!
ReplyDelete(and please don't let any of the gloom and doom stories from earlier today make you more nervous about labor - Dr. Miller is FABULOUS and I felt like I was in good hands when he delivered both of my kids. You are going to do great!!
I am glad I'm not the only one who is suffering from hormone overload. It feels ridiculous to cry so much over stupid little things, but I'm glad to know it's normal and therapeutic. =) Also, I am so, so glad you had Dr. Miller, too! I hope he's on call when I go into labor!
ReplyDeleteBlessings are truly special. It was wonderful to be a part of consoling Lily. I felt especially strongly that Lydia would arrive exactly when God intended. I felt so bad for my wife though!! I just simply don't know what she was going through!
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