Future Daddy

This is Abe again.  I felt a strange itch to blog again.  Lily and I just got back from a "caring for newborns" class.  It was very insightful for me.  I think most of it was review for Lily.  She has had a lot more time than me to read books about baby care.  But for me, a lot of this stuff was new!  I learned how to change a diaper, how to burp a baby, how to bathe a baby and even how to put a shirt on a baby.  Looks like I'm ready to be a dad!!!...........well, at least I have a few more logistics figured out.  The truth is, though, that I am still very intimidated by the task at hand.  There is so much that goes into being a parent, and I feel sometimes like I barely get by as it is.   Still, I know for sure that God will help us raise little Lydia in the way He wants us to.  I am so happy that Lily has had so much time to read and think about how best to raise our baby.  It really is a blessing that she can be so informed since I am so often tied up at work. I've also been distracted because I've spent a lot of time recently deciding about whether or not to follow-through on my plans to go to grad-school.  I've already taken the GRE and the decision to go into academia is a monumental shift from corporate America.  So between brooding about that, working excessive hours and just trying to stay on top of life in general, I've been swamped!!  By the way, I did decide that I am going to stick with corporate America.  The decision process was long and labored, but it feels good to have made a decision, and I feel good about what I decided.  I hope now I can turn my attention to something far more important which is pondering what kind of father I want to be.  Lily has so many wonderful thoughts and ideas for raising Lydia.  It's about time I start crystallizing some of my parenting philosophies so that she and I can have a truly meaningful exchange about how to parent.  I am excited to parent with her!!  She is going to be such a good mom.  It's already clear how much she loves Lydia and how much she wants for her.  I already know that Lily will make any sacrifice required to bless her daughter and I am so grateful that Lydia has the mother she does. 

I got to be honest though, responsibility aside, I am just beside myself with how much fun I think having a baby will be.  I intend to just have a blast .  It is going to lots of laughs, priceless photos, hilarious stories and just cuteness all around.  It will be just a complete blast.  I think the fun I anticipate will be a great counterbalance to the great responsibility I feel.  It will be challenging sure, but even more I'm going into it expecting lots and lots of joy. 

I don't know what else to report.  Lily is getting close to the due date.  She is in a lot of pain....a lot of pain and I do what I can to help soothe her. Despite her discomfort, she still goes out of her way to do sweet things for me. She made me filet mignon on Valentines day and I felt so loved. The steak was ammmaazing. I even had leftovers two days later that were equally satisfying.  That happened to be a really hard day for me, but I just kept going through my day saying, "How can I complain? I had filet mignon for breakfast."  It's no joke, Lily is just the best wife ever.

I had something special all planned out for her over the weekend, and to make a long story short, my special surprise for her just fell through.  It stinks feeling like you want to show your love to the most meaningful person in your life, and then having those plans collapse.  We do, however, have a long weekend.  Lily was so understanding about the plans not turning out and it made me realize that simple and sweet time together is what she wants more than anything anyway.  Honestly, it's my favorite thing too.  No frills. No fancy plans.  No expectations.  Just a quiet day or two to kick around with my favorite pal and to just be together for the first time in.......well, I'm not sure when the last free time was.

Lily gets embarrassed when I go on about how wonderful she is...........so I'll just end by saying this marriage continues to be the best thing that ever happened to me.  Sometimes I get glimpses on just how weak and flawed I really am and I just feel grateful to live with someone who truly reciprocates my love.  I still have a lot of holes, but she loves me so I count myself as blessed.